Working with Debbie and Scott was heaven. They shared the admirable strengths of delegation and trust. And in their vendors – they did trust. It was a great team serving a lovely couple. Seattle Met Bride & Groom thought so as well! Check out this new issue for great ideas and romantic stories of REAL brides and grooms. Enjoy!
“Happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy.” -Getta Palmer
Invariably, at each wedding, there are minions; people behind the scenes making the magic happen. These are the mothers, aunties, cousins, sisters, brothers and quite often “The Best People” who are cooking, sewing, pasting, draping, and hauling. They seem to be tireless in their efforts to “make happy” the couple. And in their generosity, they become happy themselves. Because, happiness is not found by seeking it; it is a by-product of trying to help others! So, to the lovely people that I meet every wedding, I want to thank you for making the Bride and Groom’s day such an extraordinary occasion. To be in loving service is a gift like no other. And I am a believer that often times the best gifts cannot be tied with ribbons! Photo: Rachel helping at Cousin Erin’s Wedding
I have great compassion for my Brides and Grooms because staging a wedding, with all of the countless details, is daunting. It is daunting because there is a fear that if something gets overlooked and goes awry, people may judge them. And worse, they may judge themselves. It is a day that they want to be “perfect”. Here is something that may allow anyone, anywhere, to accept what is and just “shine”!
Does the sun ask itself, “Am I good?
Am I worthwhile? Is there enough of me?”
…No, it burns and it shines.
Does the sun ask itself,
“What does the moon think of me?
How does Mars feel about me today?”
No, it burns and it shines.
“Am I as big as the stars in other galaxies?”
No, it burns and it shines.
— Andrea Dworkin
Frequently, I am asked the secret to helping my couples relax for their Wedding Ceremony. Even though the Bride and Groom truly understand that their guests are the people in the world that love them the most, they still find it unnerving to stand before a large group and say the intimate words contained in their ceremony. So I took a cue from the popular song “The Prayer” which has a line in it: “Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace, To a place where we’ll be safe”.
1. From the first day we meet, the Bride, Groom and I talk about them being “Crazy in Love” on their wedding day. How we can’t make 100 or 200 people happy – but LOVE becomes contagious, and the guests collect this joy during the service – and they will become happy. (It is hard to be responsible for 50 – 150 guests!) Added Bonus: When a Bride and Groom are focused on each other, it is TRULY difficult to make a fuss about smaller details of the day!!!
2. During the weeks leading up to their Big Day, the Bride and Groom have a daily “homework” assignment of gratitude. They will also write each other a letter (that each of them quietly reads just before their wedding ceremony).
3. A few months before the wedding, I always meet my couples for a casual, yummy supper and this helps to make us all comfortable and find earnest rapport. This spills over into the wedding day, knowing that their trusted Minister is there. Spend time with your Officiant!
4. We get ORGANIZED, so we have the luxury of being relaxed. Discussions are held about to whom we are delegating – and then, we hand things off, lighten the load – RELEASE!
5. And finally, when we arrive up front, I have the Bride and Groom face each other so that the world melts away – “LOST IN THE MOMENT”! We create a bubble where intimacy and coziness are surrounding them. It has to… they are holding hands and all is well.
Deep Breath… It’s a CAKE WALK!
This season of celebrating The Divine Feminine is such a validating time for ALL women. Mother’s Day is a thank-you to every woman who has ever hugged a baby, taught a lesson, listened closely…or passed on her wisdom to someone who needed her. So, to all my Brides who don’t think that they are mothers yet, I salute you!
“Her loveliness is seen by outward view, but we who love her know the beauty of her soul.” – Haide Thomas
It is my intention to write a weekly affirmation for couples as they are preparing for their wedding, maintaining their careers and trying to find balance during the engagement process. Offering a path to help maintain the BLISS and keep a focus on one another. This week, with Spring surely on its way, my inspiration comes from nature. It seems to be constantly reminding us to “Breathe, enjoy the moment, drink in the joy… return to Peace”. Repeat after me… again…
Amen! Of course they are talking about the upcoming royal wedding. But it does pose the question: Just why do we all savor this ancient ritual of weddings -regardless of the size and style of it? Is it because weddings allow us to dust off our own personal covenants? Or the fact that joy will not tolerate being contained? I say “Yes” to both and offer this as well: Often within the couple’s vows we find words of great faith, courage, trust and mutual support. Words of confidence, conviction – pure optimism that speaks to us all in a soulful way and regardless of how many times we have heard these promises, it refreshes our own personal life’s creed in going forward with HOPE.